Mamas, don't let your babies grow up. Period.

I'd be lying if I said I never compare myself to other moms and Harlow to other toddlers her age.  It's not a contest, because if it were, we would totally be winning.  I'm kidding. It's just natural to see a child around the same age as yours, hitting milestones quicker or achieving certain things and not feel behind or a failure.  My daughter has leapt over so many obstacles in her sweet, short life, that I always give her (and myself) the benefit of the doubt.  

Case and point: pacifier, co sleeping and potty training. 

I've heard so many moms say that one day they just said enough with diapers and strongly convinced their child to use the potty.  That's amazing.  Truth be told, diapers weren't a huge burden for me.  I of course, don't enjoy cleaning up poop all day, but if you think about it...diapers are super convenient. You don't have to run to the potty the second your little one needs to go.  If you are in the car, there is no end of the world crisis. You can sit through an entire movie without taking 30 potty breaks. Overall, those diaper things are a pretty great invention. Good job guys. 

I knew I wanted to try that 3 day potty training program with Harlow and aimed to complete it before Christmas.  It's sad how busy our lives get and how guilty I felt that it took over a month to find a completely open weekend for us. Plans changed a few times and finally the weekend came.  I have heard all the horror stories about this process.  So much pee and poop everywhere.  Throwing out dozens of soiled panties.  Losing patience. Needing lots of wine. And Valium.  But really...it wasn't all that bad.

It always surprises me how certain things fall in to place so easily. After struggling for many years to get pregnant, once I conceived, everything was pretty smooth sailing. I loved my pregnancy. Labor and delivery were both beautiful and praceful. Nursing came naturally and every transition so far has gone well. I always build things up in my mind. Maybe I'm preparing for the worst so I won't freak out.  Whatever the reason, potty training was just another thing that Harlow aced.  

Yes, there were accidents and a few pairs of panties to toss in the trash. Yes, there were times I looked at her like, "did you really just piss on the floor again?!".  But it didn't kill us and we still like each other.  And...we are officially in big girl panties!!  Well, I have been for a while , but after potty training Harlow, I see what a win it really is for us all. A few pull ups at night, for those measly little leaks, but overall...she is kicking butt. One of the hardest parts was finding Thomas The Train panties for little girls.  They only came in boys' briefs. What?  A little girl can't like locomotives too?!  

I should feel proud. And I do. But there is a tiny piece of me that is sad too. Losing diapers means there is another "baby" part that is going away.  Diapers represent babies and now that we are done with them, it's a bit devastating. 

I'm not sure if we will have another baby. It will just have to be a wait and see plan for now. I would love to give Harlow a sibling as I know she would shine as a big sister, but I'm totally content if she is all we ever have. She's simply magical and we are so lucky to have her. 

As far as the pacifier goes...we are waiting until after her tissue and skin expansions and surgery are finished.  I want her to be soothed in any way possible during this time. It seems almost cruel to strip her of it while she is going through all these procedures etc.  

Now, for Co-sleeping.   Forget about it.  Ha ha ha