Thursday, January 30, 2014

Black Is The New Pink

There is something so tender and whimsical about baby girls.  Their innocence and gentle nature make it easy to see why the saying goes, "Thank Heaven For Little Girls".  There is also that lil rhyme that says girls are made of, "sugar and spice and everything nice".   I'd like to emphasize the SPICE part.  

Why is it that society feels that all baby girls must be slathered in pink and ruffles?!  If you go to any baby store, it's easy as pie to find the baby girls' section. It's the one that looks like it got doused in Pepto Bismal.  Nearly every article of clothing is covered in pink (and maybe a tad bit of purple) and has a heart, kitten, flower or something else totally girly all over it.  Now, some of he boys' stuff isn't much better....dinosaurs or sports much?  But the boys also get all the cool designs. Arrows, stars, skulls and guitars.   They get cool colors like gray and black.  It's like it's never entered a baby girl clothing brand to dabble into other hues of the rainbow. (Ok, so I'm pretty sure gray and black aren't in the rainbow.....stay with me). 
I'm happy to see animal print is now available but it's never a cool print.  It's like the designer is afraid that if they just make clothes with leopard print, no one will buy them. How would anyone know the baby was a girl?  I dare say you put a bow or headband on her head. So they slap on some silly pink and now it's suitable for girls.  And just a PSA: it IS possible to dress your daughter in too much leopard.  Same with camoflague.  When was the last time you saw cool camo in the baby girls' department?  Apparently moms can't just add their own flair to a camo outfit and justify it....nope.  They have to have PINK camo pants....which totally makes sense.  Try hunting in those and let me know what you get.  

You should see the confusion on the sales clerk's face when I'm perusing the boys' section of baby gap, holding my daughter.  They assume I must be buying a gift. Nope. I just want a cool flannel shirt that isn't purple and pink. I wasn't a traditional green, blue and red plaid. Same with some jeans.  I don't want back pockets in the shape of hearts. I want normal looking jeans. Harlow wears lots of black and gray and red and she does wear a little pink.  I'm not saying that some pink isn't adorable and stylish. I just don't get why everything has to be that shade. Your newborn daughter doesn't have to be in black leather pants and a blazer, but you bet your ass if they made that, I would've bought it.  


Monday, January 13, 2014

Desperation -My First Journal Entry

People always talk about the miraculous moments of pregnancy. There are those who tried for a month and voila, they were pregnant.  There are those that were taken completely by surprise and had to adjust to the idea of having a baby. Oh the scary, joyous, breathtaking moment when their period didn't come and the home pregnancy test said "positive, +, =" or "pregnant".  Basically saying, "blessed, fortunate, lucky" etc. 

What people rarely, if ever, talk about is when that period DOES come-month after month. When that pregnancy test repeatedly says "negative, not pregnant, -, not this time, again no baby".  That little stick holds all the hope and promise in what it tells you.  The seconds before it changes to tell you your fate, your heart pounds outside of your chest.  Your dreams of becoming a parent, images of yourself pregnant and what your baby will look like, and of course just how you will break the news to your husband- all lie in what that test says. 

And just like that, it's over. All the anticipation that this whole last month was the last month you had to live this vicious cycle. That all the stress, tears, perfect timing, injections, blood work, ultrasounds, retaining water weight, hormonal fits and the inevitable let downs are OVER!!  But then they're not. Whether it's that dreadful call from the lab or the ugly sign on the test...all at once, you're back at square one again. Being sad, mad, frustrated, tired, stressed, overwhelmed and done with the whole process. Time to take a break, to revive myself. Let my body rest and go back to it's normalcy. Not worry all month whether this time, the pills, shots and IUI worked or not.  How can I keep doing this?

Yet, the though of holding off from possibly getting pregnant, for a month, two or more is almost as crushing as the realization that once again, after a year of trying and 7-8 months of medical assistance- I'm still not pregnant. 

I'm so ready for my baby. 


(I wrote this entry on 12/13/11.  Harlow will turn one this February 5th 2014.  All is never lost).