Thursday, October 23, 2014

Bah Bye....


Things that could disappear forever and I'd be totally cool:

1.  Acronyms.  All of them!  No exceptions. No "well, this one is okay".   I mean it.  Are we so busy that we can't spell out the actual words or phrase? Are our phone bills charging for every single letter we type, so we are just being financially savvy?  Or is it a mix between trying to hip and laziness?  Either way, I would love for all the "LOLs, IDKs, SMHs, TIAs, LMAOs" and all the others that I'm positive I don't know what they actually mean, to vanish into thin air.   My sister is a literature teacher for 7/8 grade.  She receives papers that contain acronyms, explanation points at the end of EVERY sentence, and wait for it...smiley faces.  I fear that the younger generations will be illiterate, due to all of this.  My daughter is a part of the "younger" generation. What if she only speaks to me in acronyms?  It'll be a huge language barrier. FML.  (I kid, I kid).

2.  Smocked clothing for babies/toddlers/anyone.  I know this look is very popular amongst the Southern states.  I was born in Berkeley, so my parents probably dressed me in bell bottoms and fringe vests....but I will happily take that.  I guess I just don't get all the rage around everything smocked and monogrammed. Is it precious to have some things with your baby's initials on it?  Sure. I admittedly have at least one blanket and a couple of head wraps with "Harlow" or "HTJ" on them.  I am just confused by those wanting to sew it on EVERYTHING!   When Harlow was about 5 months old, I bought a smocked 4th of July dress. I had a weak moment.  It happens to the best of us. Of course she looked adorable in it, but I think she could wear a burlap sack well. Looking back at pictures of that holiday, although she was clearly dressed for the occasion, I'm puzzled as to why I wanted that for her in the first place.  I'm not Southern or preppy. I swear I'm not some judgmental asshole, so please find the humor in this and don't get offended. I have friends who only dress their kids in smocked outfits.  It's not like I hate them. (The children not the outfits). Maybe it's just an overwhelming look for me, personally. To each their own.  I dress my daughter in mostly gray and black and buy lots of her stuff from the boys' section. I'm sure some people don't particularly like her wardrobe.  Perhaps it's more of the boys in those John John overall/apron things that make my skin itch.  And there is one for every season, holiday, and sport. Nothing says, " I love the NFL" quite like a baby blue John John with footballs sewn on it.   But as I said before, to each their own. At least now you know what NOT to buy Harlow for her birthday. 

3. Ebola.  I know, I know. You're probably just as sick of hearing that word as I am. Is it rare?  Yes. Is it scary? Of course. Do we wish it had never been brought into the United States, specifically Dallas?  No doubt about it. However, I guarantee that with the exception of those who think vaccinations are the devil, if an Ebola vaccine came out tomorrow, nearly everyone would get it.  However, there ARE vaccines available for other sicknesses...like the flu and people have no interest in getting them. People don't seem to understand how dangerous and life threatening the Flu can really be. Someone made a joke that more people have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola in the U.S.  I rest my case.  Take precautions, wash your hands...but please don't go buy a hazmat suit.  Hey Ebola, thanks for the panic.  You may now exit stage left. 

4.  Selfies.  I'm sure I'll get a lot of hell over this one, but it's just got to be said. Enough already.  Especially the ones with you in your car.  Although I'm proud of you for wearing your seatbelt, I'm miffed by all the duck faced, personal phone pictures that are taken and posted on the daily. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but I have never felt obligated to snap a picture of myself while driving. I'm just not that hot.  Unless I'm sending a photo to a friend to show her my new hairdo or the fact that I chipped my tooth, I just don't understand. 

5.  People that don't wave when you let them into your lane in traffic.

6.  People that don't thank you for holding the door open for them. 

7. People that jaywalk and then take their sweet ass time.  

8. Terms like "bestie" "whatevs" "obvs" etc.   

9.  People who lack elevator etiquette. It's an unsaid rule that you allow people to exit the elevator before you try to get in.

10.  On that note, people who must push the elevator button after its clearly lit up. I don't make it a habit of just standing in front of the elevator and guessing when it will finally come down to me. 

11.  Ungrateful people. I feel I have always be thankful and well aware of the many blessings in my life. Those who feel they are simply entitled to everything, make me sad. 

12.  Being rude to waitstaff, nurses, clerks, basically anyone who is helping you. How you treat someone says so much about your character. 

13.  The traffic and construction on 635.

14. April 1st and the 7-8 weeks or more that followed. 

15.  People that don't put their shopping cart back. It's not that far. 

16.  Overly loud phone talkers. Not everyone needs or wants to hear about how your date last night sucked. 

To be continued. Please add on to this list with me.